Facebook F.A.Q.s
[Hi everyone. This list is just a pointer page. I will be adding one F.A.Q. answer every week until this list is populated with links to each of the answers.]
1-“What’s with this blog you post to every day?”
2- “What does THIS have to do with writing?”
3-“I’d like to become a patron/give you a donation/support you? How can I do that?”
4-“Wait, you want money just for shitposting on some Facebook page?”
5- “Please don’t post about politics./Why are you posting about politics?/When did this page get political?/Why is this page political all of a sudden?”
6- “What happened to the transcriptions? Will you do transcriptions again? Why do them at all? Is the free labor of people doing your transcriptions exploitative?”
7- “Will you promote [my thing]?”
8- “Will you read/critique my creative writing?”
9- “Will I tutor/edit/do some writing for you?”
10- “I am interested in buying your page/running ads on your page? Will you sell it/give me admin controls?”
11- “Where can I get some advice about writing?”
12- Just a FB thumb up./“Hey.”
13- “Hello./Hey there./Hi there./Ho there./What’s up?/Can I ask you a question?”
14- Sending a question to my personal FB mailbox instead of the page’s FB mailbox.
15- A GIANT UNWIELDY WALL OF TEXT
16- “Where can I get that t‑shirt/mug/thing I really liked?”
17- Messages sent to me in obvious altered states of consciousness.
18- Will I marry you?
19- I was too impersonal in my reply to your question.
20- “Oh great. I see that you’ve seen my message but you won’t reply. Thanks a whole lot you jerkwad. What is wrong with you?”
21- “Hey you posted my thing/my friend’s thing/a thing I know the source of/a webcomic I want to see succeed. Can you make an attribution/repost with credit/give me a shout out?”
22- “You should just make sure you know where something is from!”
23- “I would like to volunteer to help.”
24- “I answered your question/told you where something was from/mentioned a problem in one of your posts, but you didn’t react.”
25- “I can’t believe you’re okay with what’s going on in the comments on that one post.”
26- “Here’s a poem I wrote, and have sent you, unsolicited.”
27- “If you’re so overwhelmed, why don’t you get admins?”
28- “Hello from my sock puppet account that I made specifically to message you. We meet again, Mr Cookie! Why did you ban my main account? Is it because you hate the founding principles of democracy like free speech? And can I get reinstated because I’ve suddenly realized that shitting on that post means now I don’t get all the rest of your awesome content?”
29- “For a page about writing….”
30- I am basically your customer; You certainly did not treat me with the proper deference!
31- Well why did you do THAT??
32- No Bro. You full-on DELETED my comment!
33- You’re biased in favor of liberals and progressive values! You let liberals get away with more. That’s unfair moderating. What about conservatives? What about libertarians? You are where FREEZE PEACH goes to die!!! What about folks on ‘the other side.’
34- Can I ask you a quick question?
35- Can we be Facebook friends?
36- Can I friend your personal account?
Questions? Comments? Want a future article to go into more detail? Mail me through our contact form. Just be sure to pick the right topic from the drop down menu, and check the archives—particularly the F.A.Q.—to see if your question has been asked before.
If you’re enjoying this blog, and would like to see more articles like this one, the writer is a guy with rent and insurance to pay who would love to spend more time writing. Please consider contributing to my Patreon. As little as $3/month (less-than-a-latte a month) will get you in on backchannel conversations, patron-only polls, and my special ear when I ask for advice about future projects or blog changes.
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